I have recieved several gifts from friends lately where the gifter told me they had regifted the item. I remember getting a variety of regifts “over the years.” It never bothered me in the slightest that I was getting a regift. All of the gifts were in new & unopened boxes. That being said, I’ve also seen some terrible regifting attempts.
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If you’re not aware, a regift happens when someone gets a gift and decides to give it to another person instead of keeping it. The trend of regifting keeps growing. I’ve seen this work very well. I’ve also seen it go horribly wrong where some people were pretty upset & embarrassed over the whole ordeal.
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Here are some basic rules for regifting. There are many guidelines we should all follow when re-gifting, but starting with these is a good idea.
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Thou shalt not regift anything you’ve already used. This is the single most important rule. Don’t try to fudge it. Think of this rule as your excuse to give that gently used cookie plate to a worthy charity (and stop racking your brain to think of a friend who won’t remember seeing it on your holiday party table last year).
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Thou shalt carefully examine your regift from every angle. Check for gift notes tucked into the box. Check for inscriptions on the first ten pages of the cookbook. For the love of Pete, don’t forget to check for monograms and personalization.
Thou shalt be certain, beyond a doubt, that the person who originally gave you the gift does not know, and never will know, the person you’re regifting to. File under “duh.” If the person who gave you the gift originally runs in the same circles as the person you’re regifting to, don’t do it! For example, if you got a gift from a c0-worker, do not regift that to anyone associated with your work. You don’t want to take a chance on this. Be polite, be careful and please don’t be rude. Regifting in a way that the original gifter finds out that you’ve regifted is rude, insulting…and very embarrassing. Don’t take the chance.
Thou shalt regift with the same care and generosity with which you generally use for your other gifts. Wrap the gift nicely, include a thoughtful card and observe your usual gift-giving discretion. You wouldn’t tell a friend how much you paid for a gift you bought, right? You don’t need to tell her how much you didn’t pay, either. (Be honest & do not lie. That being said, keeping your mouth shut goes a long ways at times).
Thou shalt only regift things that other people might actually want.
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- Bottles of wine and Champagne—these are almost universally welcome regifts
- Unopened specialty cooking oils, salts, sauces, spices, and rubs
- Best-selling and quirky cookbooks (make sure all the pages are clean, of course)
- Edible goodies that not only are fresh but also look fresh—individually wrapped chocolates or cookies, for instance
- Like-new or vintage serving pieces that suit the recipient—don’t give a pie plate to the aunt who’s been on Jenny Craig for years and don’t give a serving tray to the friend who rarely entertains
- Small appliances and gadgets (sell these at a garage sale instead)
- Edible gifts that may have been around the block a few times—always check the expiration date on edible regifts, and if there isn’t one, think twice
- Those reusable holiday tins…unless you’ve taken the trouble to pack something homemade and delicious inside
- Anything that was itself obviously a regift, unless you’re headed to a white elephant party
- Anyone who’s ever been married has probably regifted at least one wedding present. We ain’t sayin’ it’s right or wrong. But, wedding gifts are typically pretty easy to spot as regifts—there’s just something about them (perhaps they look like they’re trying too hard?). Be warned, then, that if you regift that mosaic trivet or tanker-size gravy boat, there’s an even chance that the recipient will guess where it came from, which isn’t exactly the desired effect.
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Which brings us to the final rule of regifting:
Thou shalt remember why you give gifts to begin with. We give presents because we want people to like them. We give gifts out of generosity and because, as a species, we like seeing each other’s eyes light up with delight and surprise (one of many characteristics that distinguish human beings from, say, woodpeckers or garden slugs). If you can’t see a regift making somebody you know happy, maybe that regift deserves another recipient. Like a charity. Or the recycling bin.
